Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Ocean City...2015

List of options,,,

Frisbee Golf (don't seem too close)?

Mini Golf?

Yelp was not as helpful as Google Maps...




Monday, June 1, 2015

Other Marriage thoughts.

Wedding Fortnight thoughts...Simple. When you're sorry - say you're sorry. Mean it, let it go, and don't dig it up later. Like lying - resentment requires too much brain power and memory, those who live in truth and forgiveness are so much freer - they have space in there heads to remember things like "Scooby Doo villains" and pokemon evolution stuff...
And when someone asks for forgiveness - think about the commitment of it for you, as well. Grace has a cost, even for little old us. When they ask for this event or disagreement to be washed away, and you can, then let that go as well. The hurt doesn't vanish, but it will fade, if you both grow past it.
Actual forgiveness takes work. Often it's "Death to pride" on one side, and putting down your "hammer of righteousness" on the other.

Imminent Wedding Thoughts (2 Weeks and a day). One of the most important and useful skill in marriage is not found in the Kama Sutra, it's this: Active Listening, rather than waiting for your turn to speak. We waste more time begging to be heard, repeating the same point over and over, we stand a wave our flag and we insist on validation and that we're making "points". What is your partner actually asking? Is there really a disagreement at all?
We all want, we need to be right - but in fact, we spend an immense amount of time looking for "our tribe" for people like us. Well you've found one, you've made a tribe - they chose you - you're on the same team. Now, you need to be sure that you support and validate each other. There is an immense amount of common ground, if you look around.
And the final important part of this "Active listening" is to be sure you're speaking about the same things...Stop and think, "Where did this discussion start?" and "Have we addressed that?" If you have addressed the issue, can you short circuit the navel gazing, and old disagreements that are fruitless... The last part can be really hard, as hard as patiently actually listening.

Impending Wedding thought (16 to go) - Read "The five love Languages" whether you are a person of faith or not. Spend some time figuring out which acts of Love resonate with your spouse. Don't waste years buying or making small gifts, when your beloved is so in tune with, and appreciative of, your words of support and affection. 
(You're a guy, and it's sort of a manual - read/skim it)

Impending Wedding Thought of the day (17 to go). How many times have I told my kids that "Fair is for the weak" - Be merciful, be just, be gracious, do the right thing...Be the better man. Self interest never inspires, but those other choices just might.

Thought of the day (18 to go) - We shouldn't get married for a feeling, but with a promise. As time goes by, we may not feel like putting someone else first, but emotions aside, it's a matter of will. I promised, forever. My God and I will be stronger than my selfishness, my laziness and my pride.

Thought of the day (19 more) - You are not promised or doomed to the marriages you grew up watching. Your promises are creating something completely new and special. No one else has ever been in the family you're building - it's brand new, and special.
 — feeling optimistic.

Marriage Thoughts...

Wedding eve...It's this simple - it's a promise...That's what makes this work, your word, and commitment. That's why we use a pyramid, with God as one side of this equation. His word is good.
So - how good is your word? This is a forever, whether I feel like it or not promise...Not just a feeling. This is the person who can shut off your life support - are you going to go nuts when they get the wrong toilet paper?
And - now they are a part of us. When their car breaks late at night, or they're locked out of the house, they call family...That's us. For all of the most important events in their lives, from now until forever - they're a part of us.
Let's get rehearsing!

Single Digits! Wedding in 9 days!
It's become apparent that I've dropped the ball and made a significant gap in your upbringing. I know I grew up seeing my maternal family more than the paternal, and I figured: a) it's a girl thing, and b) the Zwart side was younger and bigger - and 3) we were gone by the time I was 10.
Doesn't matter - I had you guys - and we never got to know my Dad's family. This isn't about guilting anyone into anything, and certainly not blaming anyone for anything. I love the relationship you have with my parents, and with Cindy's...
Want an example of inclusion and effort to see family, look a bit to Linda - don't you want a home that draws the family together? People don't come to Linda and Pete's just because they have a pool - but because she's been a rock in Jimmy's life, and makes Kelly, Todd and all of us so welcome.
So make time with both sides, they'll be gone before you know it, and most importantly do things that build memories. Be there when they're in pain and when they celebrate. And if you mess up, show up the next time anyway, they're family, we have keys.

Dozen nights until I stop saying brideGOON...Touching is a good idea. You're young, so if you could drive with her sitting on your lap, you would (but you can't). But that fades...I'm not saying stand up and kiss whenever one of you enters the room - but when the spouse walks in, hit mute, or pause, or remove the headphones (without rolling you eyes) it reminds you both of the priorities. Holding hands in public, or touching a shoulder as you pass, reminds you that you have a special deal.
It also shows the world that this one chose me! And I chose her! And I'm proud be seen together - and we're partners, equals - I'm not charging thru with her 4 paces behind, and not grumpily stumbling behind her staring my phone.
And I dare you to leave your phone face down on the table while you eat. When my parents were young there were few phones - but they wouldn't get up from the table or from company to answer a phone "they'll call back" and it values the "present of the Present" -- We do get up and answer the house phone (because in this day and age, only Cindy's friends and family call it)...But often say "we'll call you back"... Do the math - what are the odds that the person who called during dinner is more important than those you're with right then?

Wedding Thoughts - 13 to go...Ever see this video? Cindy doesn't think it's funny. Trust me neither does the guy in the video...But it's part of that team, that family - Meeting your partner where they are (killing the spiders, checking out the noises) and sometimes NOT fixing the thing...And that is hard as well.
"Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Area hotels and stuff...

Over the next few months many family and friends will be coming to stay nearby.  We have a Wedding!  So this is a list of hotels and B&Bs I've started looking at, and saving:







I use the regular - hotels.com and such to look near town, Cindy made me drive over and look that the Rodeway Inn (opposite Lowes), it was very cean and newly refreshed...And I've heard some good things about the Yankee Pedlar lately...

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Snow Buddy

Nathan's 7th grade Invention Convention project is: The Snow Buddy - a PVC Skeleton frame to hold your boots/hat/glove together to dry  - More to follow.

And, the Snow Buddy - not naked.

Every Year 7th Graders all over Connecticut become part of the Invention Convention.  It's a multidisciplinary process that takes weeks to brainstorm, design, prototype, build and market a unique idea. 

Friday, May 17, 2013

New Work...during Birthday Month!

Started my new job this week - Working for CGI, a Canadian company that bought Logica not long ago.  My laptop didn't show up until Thursday - and ever since, I've been installing a whole suite of tools.  This place uses the most current set of HP NonStop development apps I've ever seen -  So they're all a bit new to me as well. I'm nervous, probably from all my experiences as a consultant - even when those jobs go well, they end.  So I feel residual pressure.  And installing Eclipse/Cross platform Compilers/Subversion/SQL tools and other stuff has been strange, hopefully it will all hang together tomorrow.

It's a new start, the working alone in the house will take some getting used to...Sunday I'll drive up to Waltham, Ma. for the week.  We (Me and the other two new guys) will be meeting with the Sr. Dev't. Team onsite.

Went to BWW with the guys Wednesday - We're down to 1 teenager again.  Steve got some Arduino, and Dave his class ring.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Working (soon) (from home)

So - I haven't posted in ages, and I had news, so hear it is... I found work, that starts 5/13...They will allow me to work from home (!) and the pay will be basically what I have been making on the road the last few years.  I am setting up the spare bedroom as my new office, leaving the old one as a Music Room.

I've been home since March 2nd - cleaning things up, and getting back in the groove of my family.  S. is still at Storrs (now thinking of becoming a Math Teacher) and coming home on the weekend to be a Scoutmaster of Troop 3. D. is struggling with classwork, but enjoying being SPL of Troop 1, and doing theater.   N. is enjoying his POP Puppet ministry through church (Praise Christian Fellowship), but not Scouts so much.