Hmm - a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone

I’ve been gone, and coming home when I can –for nearly a year at this time. And it still hurts amazingly bad, I suppose I’d feel guilty if it didn’t. The boys and Logan greet me affectionately and happily, and it is so important for me, the puzzle piece, to feel I fit back into my puzzle.

I do need to do more to connect with what’s left of my friends/family. For me it’s been more like 4 years since I’ve seen some people, some parts of my life I loved doing – that are gone, or broken or changed beyond recognition. In the last year I’ve lost so many family members, and have started my thoughts for Lorance now.

And I have tried to send the family to praise fellowship – for the boys needs to be met, even as I feel guilty over the continued spiral of my church home. I got called a few weeks ago about Scout Sunday at BUMC – and realized at this point there are no other scouts there. Changing feels weird - C. so needs to find her worker bee role in church, that may take time in a new place, but she has an actual God-given talent, that might be enough to start with.

But the real question on my mind is how often I feel like the ‘Hard man in the talent parable’ in Matt 25:14-30 the guy who leaves his people with varying amounts to care for and invest while he’s gone – I return from my journey and expect family life to continue, home to be homier, rooms to be more setup, things to be painted, or cleaned – The home progressing, and awaiting it’s masters arrival. There are few things more frustrating than cleaning, and searching for bills first thing I get home. It is so hard to feel I sacrifice, living alone, in the camper and feel no one is taking advantage of being home – of reconnecting with friends, and family, church life, scouts (4^th) all of it.

Tough to live in the moment, when things need to be done - and resentment doesn't help. One more thing to give back to God every morning...