Monday, June 1, 2015

Marriage Thoughts...

Wedding eve...It's this simple - it's a promise...That's what makes this work, your word, and commitment. That's why we use a pyramid, with God as one side of this equation. His word is good.
So - how good is your word? This is a forever, whether I feel like it or not promise...Not just a feeling. This is the person who can shut off your life support - are you going to go nuts when they get the wrong toilet paper?
And - now they are a part of us. When their car breaks late at night, or they're locked out of the house, they call family...That's us. For all of the most important events in their lives, from now until forever - they're a part of us.
Let's get rehearsing!

Single Digits! Wedding in 9 days!
It's become apparent that I've dropped the ball and made a significant gap in your upbringing. I know I grew up seeing my maternal family more than the paternal, and I figured: a) it's a girl thing, and b) the Zwart side was younger and bigger - and 3) we were gone by the time I was 10.
Doesn't matter - I had you guys - and we never got to know my Dad's family. This isn't about guilting anyone into anything, and certainly not blaming anyone for anything. I love the relationship you have with my parents, and with Cindy's...
Want an example of inclusion and effort to see family, look a bit to Linda - don't you want a home that draws the family together? People don't come to Linda and Pete's just because they have a pool - but because she's been a rock in Jimmy's life, and makes Kelly, Todd and all of us so welcome.
So make time with both sides, they'll be gone before you know it, and most importantly do things that build memories. Be there when they're in pain and when they celebrate. And if you mess up, show up the next time anyway, they're family, we have keys.

Dozen nights until I stop saying brideGOON...Touching is a good idea. You're young, so if you could drive with her sitting on your lap, you would (but you can't). But that fades...I'm not saying stand up and kiss whenever one of you enters the room - but when the spouse walks in, hit mute, or pause, or remove the headphones (without rolling you eyes) it reminds you both of the priorities. Holding hands in public, or touching a shoulder as you pass, reminds you that you have a special deal.
It also shows the world that this one chose me! And I chose her! And I'm proud be seen together - and we're partners, equals - I'm not charging thru with her 4 paces behind, and not grumpily stumbling behind her staring my phone.
And I dare you to leave your phone face down on the table while you eat. When my parents were young there were few phones - but they wouldn't get up from the table or from company to answer a phone "they'll call back" and it values the "present of the Present" -- We do get up and answer the house phone (because in this day and age, only Cindy's friends and family call it)...But often say "we'll call you back"... Do the math - what are the odds that the person who called during dinner is more important than those you're with right then?

Wedding Thoughts - 13 to go...Ever see this video? Cindy doesn't think it's funny. Trust me neither does the guy in the video...But it's part of that team, that family - Meeting your partner where they are (killing the spiders, checking out the noises) and sometimes NOT fixing the thing...And that is hard as well.
"Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.

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